Sari, Your Imaginary Friend (graphiteraven) wrote,
Sari, Your Imaginary Friend

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For Tristan

Dear Tristan, 
Please don't be mad at Kid or Rob, but they had to tell me this past Saturday what you had found here on this journal, and how upset you are. I cannot express how deeply sad and terrible I feel that you found something like that. I can only imagine how you feel. But, as in all things, there is an explanation, and I think this is the only way that I think I have the guts to tell you.

For a long time, getting to know you and Kid was different, because Kid is so open and goofy and you're a bit more closed than he is. However, being that the other two were generally annoyed with you for a while, so was I. And I wrote about it, when I was. I never hated you; but there was a time where I didn't like you much, either. And I realized that the nicer I treated you, the nicer you treated me. Eventually, I think you and I finally broke the ice over the past two weeks or so, and have become friends, which (you can even ask Rob) made me so excited. I had so much fun at Dairy Queen with you, or watching the fireworks or riding around in your jeep or passing out flyers that one time. You really are a great person, and the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that. I mean, come on. I wouldn't have tried to hook you up with one of my best friends if I didn't like you; I simply wouldn't do that. However, as luck would have it, your random search that led you to my Livejournal dropped you smack dab in the middle of a bad entry, and I don't think you got the chance to see what I had later written about you, after you and I had become friends. When I looked back on my journal on a different computer, I realized why you were so upset: the date on a few of those entries puts them to recent, very recent. I would like to explain that when you update an entry on LJ, it imputs whatever date your computer date is set at on the computer you are using, even if it's wrong. That's when I realized that the date on my work console was horribly incorrect, and that when LJ realizes that the computer date and the actual date don't match up, it wont post an entry until the dates do match up. And of course, the dates on a few of those entries recently matched up, so naturally those would be the first entries that you would have found. Please, don't take them seriously. I am not trying to make excuses for myself; I know that what I said was wrong, and if there was a way I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. I've been going through a terrible time in my life right now, and I'm doing everything I can to not drag Rob, and consequently you and Kid, down with me. Quitting smoking has given me some crazy moodswings, and those entries were most likely written when whatever had pissed me off was fresh, otherwise I would never have been that ... voracious. Anyway, I didn't know how else to apologize to you, I didn't want to go to the show on Saturday because I was ashamed, and didn't know if I could face you. Especially when I wasn't supposed to tell you that I knew. I cheered extra loud for you though, (you played really awesome :) ) and tried to help you with the door...I know that doesn't solve anything, but I was still happy to see you, and blown away by your performance. I was just very sad that out of all three of you guys, you were the only one that I couldn't go up to and tell you how awesome of a job you did. 

Tristan, please, I know nothing I do can take back what I said, but please at least push it to the back of your mind. That was a while ago, and lately I've considered you a real friend, and a really fun guy to hang out with. I was just starting to get to know you better, too. Please, I can totally understand if you're pissed at me, and never want to speak with me again...but if anything, please don't let it wear on the band. I don't want to be the cause of you leaving, or any more tension. You guys are going too strong now, and I dont ever want to be the reason of disrupting that. Please, I was so proud of you Saturday night...can we still maintain a working relationship at the very least, and maybe build back up to being friends? Tristan, I truly admire you and respect you, and nothing of what I've said in the past still applies. Ask anyone, I feel so terrible about what's happened, and all I want to do is set it right. I know I've hurt you, and betrayed your trust, but is there ever a way you could find to forgive me? I'm truly sorry Tristan, and I hope I can work my way back up to being your friend, because you are someone that I am proud to know. :) 

Extremely, truly, sincerely, 
Tristan...I'm so sorry. 

~ Sari K

PS: When I wrote that when I found your wallet, evil thoughts ran through my head...I would just like to let you know that that was a comical statement, and I would never think of stealing from anyone, not even you.
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